In Memory of Her

Ten days ago when at the age of 48, she complained of recurrent fever and uneasiness, we never thought that it could be big. She took medicines and care but it was not fine anymore. Things became worse when she had to get admitted in hospital with complains of stomach ache and uneasiness. She was in ICU for 5 days and all this time there were many tests, many samples of blood declared bad, samples taken again. Medicines, antibiotics given along with saline. Probably we could never understand what was happening. 

Doctors had no idea and suddenly they referred her to Hospital in Allahabad. No bed at the first instance, then precious time lost and then admitted in ICU again, we kept asking what has happened without getting any response. I saw each drop of her blood becoming more precious as they were getting replaced with saline. Each drop for various tests, body filled with antibiotics and medicines, it was now swelling. Her body kept swelling and the Doctors had no idea, someone said she had Diabetes, but we never knew that, some said infection, but no one was sure. Tests, scans, she asked us to take her out of there, but we waited for the doctor.

Finally doctor said she must be taken to Lucknow. 

We never thought it was too late, but then, suddenly everything in this world went wrong. Ambulance not available, doctors not available, people not knowing how to carry her. Now we probably knew it was late. We lost her on our way to Lucknow. We have been crying since then. We have been thinking, we could have done something. What were the doctors doing? What else could have been done? What has happened?

Where has she gone? With tears falling from my eyes and my vision blurred as I could not see anything but her face and everything she has given to me since I was born. All the memories and with each memory the truth that it might never happen again. Where has she gone? She has left me. The mother who always remained the best friend, the most caring person, feeding me, playing with me, talking to me, listening to all my problem and all this time standing by me and still doing justice to all roles defined by her position.

Standing with me, my dad, my brothers, her colleagues, her friends, the society, her parents and siblings. Where has she gone?

We cried, but now I know that she is always there. She will guide when we need, she will still listen to us when we need, she will lead us to happiness and calmness every time we need. Its just that she is tired and she needs rest.

Life did take its toil out of her, probably she was tired and she needed rest. We cannot forgive her for taking leave so early, but we always understand that she should rest now and that its our responsibility to not disturb her much. She will be missed, her place will always be empty. Nothing can replace it. But we assure you that we shall live the best, the way it would have been as if you were there.

I know you are around and I know you miss being with us as much as we do, but we learn to live without you because that what you want. Please take rest, you are free from all the pain and misery of life. We hope life gave you everything you could have asked for and assure you that you will have peace.

We loved you and I know you loved us.

We are always together, physically not visible but you will still guide us all from morning till we sleep each day.

With Love

~ Lutarai

Obituary written for Mother of my dearest friend on her behalf. The lady left us on 17.08.2011. Pray for peace.