Dear Daughter

Dear Daughter,

Today morning when I walked out house and a sudden gust of cold wind, in this hot summer, hit my face gently, I thought of you.

I suddenly realised that this is the feeling that I have when I see you each day. The sudden peace that drowned me and I was thinking it has been long we had a talk.

Dearest, I know I am your hero, whether you tell me or not, I want to let you know that I realise that I am your Hero but there is something that I never said. I shall say it now: "You are the best thing that I am"

I live the best in you, you may not realise this but this is true.

Each day I start my day after I have seen you, still sleeping. I check out for minor details. I look at your forehead searching for any crinkle on your head, any mark of uneasiness on your eyelids, any droop on the crease of your lips...... I find none and I subside. Today i saw a pimple i giggled with myself and consoled my heart for a moment.

I still remember the day you were born. I was scared to touch you, I might hurt you, you were almost the size of my palm, white and round, I cud hardly make out your eyebrows. I am sure I did make out your eyes though.

It thought years had sunk in a moment, you belonged to me. I gathered courage, still looking at you trying to figure out your hands, your fingers, your feet..... I gathered courage and I was confident enough to pick you up.

In my hands, I don't think i will ever be able to explain the "first touch" and the way you smiled, or may be you did not and i just assumed it. You made my life that day.

I have seen you grow, from a piece of skin to an ounce and now a big girl. I have seen you stand and fall and then cry. I remember beating the ground for being harsh on you and I remember the prize i got for that. Your eyes always said that to me. I remember going out of bounds, running around and trying to make your wish come true. You were my sweet angel. You are my sweet angel. I remember getting wet trying to buy you some chocolates coz you wanted them. I remember making you nervous while scolding you and suddenly forget my anger.

I still see you each day and feel proud about myself. But probably i never realised you are a big girl now. The process of growing was so fluxing that no change ever struck me.

Today when i looked at myself I was quite old, and i realised its been a long time. It suddenly struck me that life has taken its toil on me and I have been missing that "PRIZE".

When i come back home you are sleeping and when i leave you are still sleeping. Your eyes, they don't speak to me much now. Even though your face still does, I still miss your eyes, i miss your chirrups, i still miss your cries.....

I know i shall not be your hero forever and that will be for the best. I know how crazily i am waiting for the day when i take a loss and someone else shall replace me. I will be hurt and I will be happy, I might cry but the tears will bring peace to me.

Dearest daughter, you gave this name that I have and I shall make this name bigger than me. I may not be a hero but I shall always be the precious Character Artist in the movie of your life.

I shall always be there even if you don't see me. I shall be the wind always with you, around you and inside you for I am your father and "You are the best I am"

~ Lutarai